The curse had come upon me. My friend Isobel said I would die if I had a bath. I got pulsating spots on my chin, my back was solid with acne, and you had to buy sanitary towels from men in chemists. How did St. Joan manage? All that armour. How did Pavlova, when she danced Swan Lake in that plate-like tutu? Who invented tampons? Have they been knighted?